The open letter to Pope Francis

 

 

Post written in February 2022

AN OPEN LETTER TO POPE FRANCIS FROM POLAND   Dear Pope Francis,   A few years ago, I hated you so much. The feeling came suddenly, springing from enormous grief upon hearing your words: “How beautiful”  That was your assessment of a father who strikes his children not in the face, but rather in another place. While everybody could guess which place, decorum makes it unmentionable. After all, this place is an embarrassment; discussing it would be indecent, immodest. Not just you, I hated the whole Church–which I had loved dearly–along with the Vatican in its silence. The day I became aware of clerics–including in the high ranks of the Vatican–and of priests who, with impunity, were vocally applauding violence against children in God’s name, something inside of me snapped. I felt cruelly betrayed. Because I was faithful to Church teachings, and here was the Church praising what ruined my life.     My dear Pope Francis, today I know–or rather, I hold out hope–that you seek goodness and peace, so I am writing to you on an important matter. War is a monstrous thing. We must do all to prevent it.

For this reason, I want to tell you the story of two innocent little boys. Both of them, when they grew up, decided to put up a veil before everyone to shroud this earliest stage of their lives. The first boy had blue eyes. His mother she was overprotective of him, but could not show affection. She called her husband “Uncle Alois,” was submissive, and always looked on idly as he beat her little son mercilessly with a whip. As the boy grew up, the damage he suffered and a lack of compassion grew with him. Soon he began to carry around a riding crop. The second boy’s childhood was much the same. Tossed about and cruelly beaten, first by his stepfather and later by his foster father. In neither case did he receive any protection or sympathy from his mother. When I think of that little child, crying and asking his mother not to desert him, I feel sorrow and regret. I guess that’s a normal human reaction? Had she turned around, taken him in her arms, hugged him with all her might and refused to let anyone hurt him–is it possible that tragedies of today would not have happened at all? As with a lack of upbringing–which is improperly called stress-free parenting–it is wrong to train up children with violence, lack of COMPASSION, and indifference.

A child must learn SELF-COMPASSION in order to be capable of COMPASSION TOWARD OTHERS. He must be able to cry, to not hold it inside, to not suppress his emotions, if he is to be sensitive to those of others. But not only toward a select few–toward everyone! Because wars arise from the divisions that people construct: between those worthy of compassion and those who don’t deserve it.   We must do everything in our power to keep the next dictators from growing up to be such. So that women can give birth without fearing for the lives of their children.  So that 18 years later their sons won’t be forced to fight and their daughters won’t be hiding in shut-down subways. No loving mother wants her child to have to fight, whether it’s a newborn in a bunker, an 18-year-old, or a 50-year-old. My dear Pope Francis, you said recently that it’s selfish when people choose to have dogs and cats instead of children, that it’s self-centered.

 

I have sons and I have daughters. Children are the most beautiful thing to have come into my life. But I don’t want this kind of world for them! I don’t want my sons fighting for freedom and my daughters giving birth in bomb shelters. I understand people who don’t want to have children because they would fear for their safety. Who don’t want their children to “lay down their lives for the Fatherland.” Why bear that Fatherland more children for the world to throw to the predation of more wars, of more consequences wrought by LACK OF COMPASSION? I read about the projects of famous people hoping to relocate humankind to outer space. In order to save them. Because here it’s not safe. But for what? So that along with people we can take unfair wages, hunger and wealth, exploitation and profligacy, LACK OF COMPASSION? In space, life won’t be at all safe either. People are now saying that the war in Ukraine took them by surprise. I’m not completely surprised. I’ve been fearing it for years. I am shocked by the tragedies in Yemen and Africa, or wherever they occur. I am shocked that the world, with so much wealth, allows children to die of hunger, that the sick cannot afford medicine. And that the rich would rather spend their money on other things.

 

The world has not just recently become cruel; it did not change when Russia attacked Ukraine. It was like this all along.   Anyone who basks in wealth–“because he earned it himself”–while others starve to death carries a bit of Cain within him. The world has not changed at all, but rather evil has simply become more visible to European society. We’ve seen cancer-stricken children hiding in hospital shelters, 10-year-old Polina shot to death, and young Russian soldiers who don’t want to fight or die. We’ve all seen up close what LACK OF COMPASSION looks like. And while it brings me great joy that so many countries, organizations and people are strongly united against the war, I worry that these protests will soon pass. It is we adults who poison children’s minds, who teach children that violence, force, pressure, and pain are righteous and legitimate tools. That it’s okay to use violence when we want to compel someone to do something.

My dear Pope Francis, many years ago the renowned activist Alice Miller petitioned the Vatican to condemn violence against children outright. To tell parents that beating children is not nurture, but harm–to them and to those around them. She never got a response. There are many more dangers in accepting violence against children. What many (especially in Protestant circles) call parenting in accordance with God’s will– namely, spanking–is nothing more than sexual assault. A spanking is bad touch, given that it touches an embarrassing, intimate place and in a violent way. It is bad touch because it is produces sexual shame. A touch that is sexual assault when done to a woman should not be punishment for a girl, for a boy, or for anyone.   Spanking is a sanctified bad touch.

 

Many people have warned of this hazard, including: Sigmund Freud, Richard von Krafft-Ebing, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Leopold von Masoch, and, in modern times, Jordan Riak and Tom Johnson of Project NoSpank, Andreras Altmann, Beth Fenimore, Jillian Keenan, and many other activists. Sadly, we can read about frequent cases where pedophiles took advantage of widespread silence to sexually abuse children and teens in perverse fashion, calling it discipline. Many such cases took place at religious schools in Germany, Ireland, the USA, Poland, and all around the world.   It is a huge sin to destroy innocent sexuality and innocent lives while cloaked in the name of God. Please, Pope Francis, make a proclamation condemning violence against children. Set an example for the world, so that no more will grow up to be tyrants, so that innocence is not profaned. So that children like these, newly born and holed up in a shelter, never have to fight for peace. “We can make the most beautiful appeals for peace, but as long as we continue to beat children–there will be wars in the world” – Alice Miller.

My dear Pope Francis, please break the silence! Rather than decry violence and war, denounce the tormentors and warmongers. Today it is clear how closely linked these two appeals are!   Vladimir Putin’s heart was poisoned when he was a boy. But the evil that touched him did not descend to Earth in some immaterial, impersonal form! It was adults–mother, stepfather, foster parents–who drove a piercing shard of ice into little Vova’s heart. Please, Pope Francis, call a spade a spade. It’s what the world needs. What’s going on in Ukraine is NOT combat between two factions. Ukraine was invaded by Vladimir Putin, who is killing children. People say they didn’t expect Putin to invade Ukraine. Like Garry Kasparov, I have long been afraid of what goes through this man’s head. He has in the end attacked innocent people in Syria and Georgia, while the world watched and kept silent. And little by little, the aggressor kept testing how far he could take things.

 

My dear Pope Francis, I know the type. I had a traumatic childhood as well. And I know that if the people around me had told the aggressor, “Stop it,” that might have stopped him. And if not, at least I wouldn’t have faced that nightmare alone. The people of Ukraine do not deserve such a lonely situation. Please let your voice be heard. Warm regards, Laura Priestess